How Big Goals Transform Your Self-Concept (And Your Eating Habits)

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Yes, You Can Lose Weight Without Willpower.

Imagine eating what feels good to your body, and trusting yourself around your favorite foods. Losing weight without forcing anything. Wanting to check yourself out in the mirror, and feeling confident.

You can have this, even if it feels far away right now. And even in a demanding career like healthcare.

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Listen to This Next:

• 🎙️ The Weight Loss Shift: Rewriting Your Relationship with Food
• 🎙️ How to Finally Make Changing Your Eating Habits Feel Easier

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📖Readable Version:

How Big Goals Transform Your Self-Concept (And Your Eating Habits)

Hey there, welcome back to the Eating Habits for Life podcast.

Today you and I are talking about goals — not just setting them, but becoming the version of yourself who achieves them.

And specifically, how your eating habits, your relationship with food, and your weight loss goals are not just about food or weight…
They’re about who you are becoming in the process. And how that helps create the results you want…not the other way around.

To help you, I’m going to share a story from my big marathon goal recently. I just ran the Philly Marathon and learned a ton along the way that I know will help you.

And I’m sharing it because it reveals something powerful you can take into your own transformation, especially if you want to feel calm, confident, and in control around food; if you want to stop overeating, stop restricting, stop starting over, and lose weight in a way that just fits into your normal life.

Let’s dive in.

The Goal You Choose Is Never Just a Goal — It Changes Who You Become

When I chose to run a marathon this year, it wasn’t about running 26.2 miles.

It was about discovering:
“Who will I become by choosing this goal and working toward it?”

That’s the thing about goals — the best ones pull you forward into a new identity long before you ever see a result.

You might have eating or weight loss goals that feel big.
Maybe you want to:

• stop overeating at night
• trust your hunger
• stop obsessing about food
• lose 20 lbs. without dieting or gaining it all back
• stop feeling out of control around food

They aren’t “just” about food.

They are invitations to become someone new.

Someone who is calm around food.
Someone who trusts herself.
Someone who feels powerful instead of powerless.
Someone who doesn’t need to start over ever again.

Your goal is the doorway into that version of you.

And that’s exactly what happened to me when I decided to go from a 3:47 marathon, that I ran back in my twenties to shooting for a 3:15 marathon, which means qualifying for the Boston Marathon and New York City Marathon by a lot. (I’ll tell you want I ended up running a little later in the episode).

It felt exciting.
It felt like a really big jump.
It kinda felt like, “Who do I think I am?”

I decided it’s what I wanted and I then committed to do what it took to achieve it, which included hiring a coach, shoutout to Ramon Laboy) who believed something bigger for me than I believed for myself.

He saw the identity before I could. He had belief before I had full belief, and because he did, he knew exactly how to help me, not just with action strategy, but mindset too.

That’s what made the goal work — not just the training plan, but the identity shift.

Which aligned very well with what I knew worked for my clients as well…actually becoming the person and taking smart, purposeful actions.

The Transformation That Occurs When You Set a Big Goal

So you might think that losing that 20 lbs and feeling in control around food will be the things that make you feel like the person you envision, but it’s not. Just like race day and the race results weren’t what made me feel like the runner I wanted to be.

It was:

The early mornings.
Running in the cold and wind.
The track workouts that made me wonder what I was doing to my body.
The training that didn’t show results immediately.
Missing out on staying late at a friend’s house or a party to get up early for a run.

It was also:

Showing up when sometimes I didn’t feel like it.

Being diligent with Physical Therapy exercises for 2 injuries I had.

Not running with friends because I had a workout on for that day.

Making sure to eat enough carbs for fuel and protein for repair.

Having good hydration and sleep habits.

Because these were all the things a marathoner does, especially a marathoner with a big goal like mine.

It was never the race day result that would make me the runner I wanted to be.

It was all the small decisions I made every day that made me the runner I wanted to be.
Decisions about actions. But also decisions about how I wanted to think about myself. Decisions about the beliefs I’d have about myself.

And that’s EXACTLY how changing your relationship with food works.

The real transformation happens in:

• the moment you pause instead of emotionally eating
• the day you choose enough instead of overeating
• the morning you eat because you’re hungry, not out of habit
• the night you trust your body instead of restricting
• the moment you allow an urge without reacting
• the thoughts you decide to have about yourself that feel good

They feel small in the moment.
They feel boring.
They feel like they shouldn’t matter.

But they are EVERYTHING.

Those reps are the reason you change.
Those reps are the reason it becomes easy.
Those reps are what transform you into the person who loses weight and keeps it off.

Just like marathon prep — these moments change you.

Identity Before Results — Why This Matters for Weight Loss & Eating Habits

Before I ever ran a marathon at that faster pace, I had to see myself as someone capable of running one.

Not because I had proof.
But because I decided to believe it first.

This is the part most people skip with food.

They say things like:

“I’m not someone who can keep food in the house.”
“I lose weight but always gain it back.”
“I can’t be trusted around sugar.”
“I always overeat on weekends.”
“This is just who I am.”

Those sentences are describing your past — not your identity.

You are not locked into that version of yourself.

Just like I wasn’t locked into my past 3:47 marathoner identity.

You get to choose who you’re becoming now.

And when you choose the identity FIRST — the calm, confident, in-control, healthy version of you — your habits begin to align.

Identity creates behavior, not the other way around.

If you keep thinking you’ll never lose the weight or that you’ll always struggle with food, you will.

Our brain naturally does actions that align with what we choose to believe about ourselves.

For example, if you identify as a high-achiever, you’ll keep setting goals and pushing yourself. Which means you’ll be way more likely to achieve them, which then just reinforces the identity.

If you identify yourself as being inconsistent, guess what? You’ll continue being inconsistent. And then that just reinforces that identity even more.

If you identify as the person who can feel at peace with food, lose weight and keep it off, then you’ll start at least taking some steps toward that.

When the time came for me to run the Philadelphia Marathon on November 23^rd, I had a new goal of 3:10. I had played around with the idea that this was possible for me for the weeks leading up. When I was standing in the porta potty line at 6am that morning, the man in front of me asked what my goal was, I said, “3:10.”

I knew the course was longer than 26.2 miles….which meant that I’d be running extra distance, which meant it would take a longer period of time by a couple minutes.

When I crossed the finish line of that marathon, the clock said 3:10, and sure enough, the course was long by about a third of a mile. But when I calculated what my time was right at the 26.2 mark, it was actually a 3:08. So I had run the marathon distance 7 minutes faster than what I set out to do.

That finish line was more than an accomplishment. It was just reinforcement of who I had already become in the process.

I became the person who believed in myself.

The person who showed up, even when the weather was kind of horrible.

The person who pushed through workouts even when my body was screaming for me to stop.

The person who skipped some fun things, because she knew achieving her goal would be way more fun.

The person who knows she can do really hard things, consistently.

The person who jumps back up after falling at mile 5 in the race with pretty significant knee pain, and runs the rest of the race even faster.

The person who will never ever doubt herself again.

And I know racing and eating habits and weight loss are different goals, but they’re really not that different. Because they’re both about what you truly desire for yourself. They’re both about showing you what’s possible. They’re both about showing you what you can have for the rest of your life if you choose to.

THIS is what weight loss and eating habit goals really offer you.

Not just a number.
Not just a smaller size.

But the version of you who:

• doesn’t stress about food
• doesn’t binge at night
• doesn’t yo-yo
• doesn’t restrict all week
• doesn’t say “I blew it” and feel guilty
• feels peaceful around food
• knows she can trust herself no matter what

The version of you who knows she can accomplish things she didn’t even realize were possible.

Which opens up the doors for more goal-setting and achieving.

THAT is your finish line.

That is what you’re actually chasing.

The number on the scale, the food, the amounts…those are just the mile markers — just measurements along the way.

The real victory is who you become along the way, and how you then see yourself going forward.

You’re Closer to Your Goals Than You Think

If you had told me a year ago that I would run a 3:10?
I would have laughed and secretly thought, “no freaking way.”

But that’s the thing about goals:

We underestimate what we’re capable of and we underestimate how fast we can change when we work on identity, not perfection.

You are so much closer than you think to the version of you you want to become.

The one who feels in control.
The one who loses weight without drama, dieting or relying on willpower.
The one who never has to “start over” again.
The one who feels proud, powerful, and peaceful around food.

She’s not far away.
She’s already inside you — she’s just waiting to be shown her potential. She’s waiting for the opportunity.

Get Help Becoming That Version of You

This is exactly why I coach.

Not to micromanage your food.
Not to give you strict rules.
Not to force you to “be good.”

But to help you step into the identity that makes the result inevitable.

To help you build trust with yourself.
To help you rewire old patterns.
To help you create habits that feel natural.
To help you become the version of you who can’t NOT succeed.

If you want your own version of my 3:10 moment — the moment where everything clicks and you realize, “I did it… I became her…”

I would love to help you. To see how this is possible for you, book a free consultation with me.

It’s just a conversation that is often very eye-opening and insightful for you. We’ll talk about what’s keeping you stuck, what’s actually going on underneath it, and what it would look like to create your own identity shift — the kind that makes a healthy relationship with food and lasting weight loss inevitable.

Thank you for listening.
Dream bigger.
Believe you’re closer than you think.

Take the next step toward your dream goal, and book that free consult with me.
I’ll talk with you soon.