The Truth About Food Guilt

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Episode Transcript:

The Truth About Food Guilt

Hey there, and welcome to the Eating Habits for Life podcast. I’m your host, Kate, and today, we’re talking about food guilt.

You know the kind… that low-grade shame that lingers after a meal… or the loud, critical thoughts after eating “too much” or something “off plan.”

Sometimes it’s just a whisper in the background. Other times, it’s so loud it ruins your whole day.
But either way, food guilt impacts your actions, your mindset, and your ability to trust yourself with food.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode

In this episode, I’m going to show you:

• Where food guilt really comes from (it’s not what you think)
• How it subtly sabotages your habits
• And the solution to finally break free from it, without needing more control or restriction and without giving up the chocolate, pizza, or wine.

Whether your guilt is occasional or constant, subtle or intense… this episode is for you. Especially if you’re a career woman and are trying to juggle food, life, and a healthy relationship with your body.

Why Food Guilt Feels So Heavy (Especially for Career Women)

And what I see often is that career women are used to success in life in many different areas and food is the one area that you feel that you don’t have control over and it makes you feel unsuccessful. And I completely understand, because I was there.

Where You Think Food Guilt Comes From vs. Where It Actually Comes From

OK, so let’s first talk about where you’re thinking food guilt comes from and where it actually comes from.

So, there’s this idea that there are foods that cause guilt. And there are also foods that are “guilt free” foods. In fact, many packaged foods, are marketed as guilt-free.

This is of course misleading, because guilt does not come from the food.

Guilt is an emotion, a feeling. You feel guilty, right? You can actually feel guilt in your body. It doesn’t feel good.

Food literally has no control over your emotions. So, the molecules in the food cannot create that feeling of guilt in your body.

Why Your Thoughts Create Food Guilt

So where does this guilt come from then? It comes from where all emotions come from, which are your thoughts. So, you will only feel food guilt because of the way you’re thinking about that food.

And because everyone has different thoughts about different foods and different amounts of foods, there are some foods that some people might feel guilty after eating and other people would not. And that’s all because every person’s individual thoughts about that food.

Real Client Example: Pizza and Guilt

I had a client who initially when she came to work with me would feel guilty after 2 pieces of pizza if she took her kids out for pizza, because she had a gluten and dairy sensitivity. She had that food guilt because she said that she knew this would cause stomach upset, and ate them anyway.

There are lots of other people who would not feel guilty about 2 slices of pizza.

So, she mastered the skill that I’m going to tell you in a moment and she started being able to have a slice of pizza without being upset with herself and feeling guilty about it.

And this was possible because she ended up finding the amount of pizza that she could enjoy that wouldn’t bother her stomach. But even if it did unexpectedly, she still didn’t feel guilty about it.

Another Real-Life Example: Guilt Over Volume of Food

Also guilt about volume of food can differ person to person. You can have no guilt about a certain volume of food, you can have a little bit of guilt, or you can have a lot of guilt about a certain volume of food.

So for example, one of my clients very early on in our coaching, told me that she felt like she shouldn’t have I think it was 3 scoops of queso and chips as a snack. Interestingly, she wouldn’t feel guilty with two scoops of queso and chips as a snack.

We unpacked why she didn’t feel guilty with two, but felt guilty with three, and basically it was just a food rule that was a false belief. She believed that 3 scoops meant she was being unhealthy and 2 scoops meant she wasn’t. That’s just what her brain was telling her and maybe it was something that she just picked up in childhood or society somewhere along the way.

The Problem with Avoiding Foods You Feel Guilty About

So, if food guilt doesn’t come from the food itself, but rather from the way you’re thinking about food, then the solution is not to avoid certain foods that you believe are making you feel guilty. The solution is not to portion control certain foods that make you feel guilty.

The Real Solution to Food Guilt

The real solution is to manage your thoughts around food, so they don’t create a feeling of guilt.

If you just avoid the foods you feel guilt about eating, that guilt will show up somewhere down the road, because at some point, you’re going to be near that food or want that food.

And if you just try to eat a tiny bit of that food without managing your thoughts about the food, that tiny bit will never feel like enough and you might even start feeling guilt about that tiny amount.

Whereas if you develop the skill of managing your thoughts around food, you can be around that food at any time, you can eat that food, you can eat any amount of it, without feeling guilt.

Will Guilt Help Me Eat Less or Lose Weight?

Now, you might be thinking, “well, if I’m trying to have healthier eating habits or lose weight, I don’t really want to just eat any amount of it without feeling guilt.” You might even be thinking that the guilt STOPS you from eating too much either in that moment or later in the day.

Here’s the thing though. It actually sabotages your eating habits and weight loss goals. Here’s how.

A Tale of Two Career Women

Let’s do a comparison between career woman A and career woman B.

Career Woman A:

She has a chocolate chip muffin after a stressful work meeting. She then feels guilty, because she has the thought, “I shouldn’t have eaten that I’m trying to decrease sugar so I can lose weight.”

Then she feels like she has to make up for eating the chocolate chip muffin, so she skips lunch. She is absolutely starving by the time she gets home from work, the day was stressful, so she goes straight to the kitchen and starts binging on snacks.

Then she has dinner with her family, because she doesn’t want to just skip dinner with her family. And then she feels overly full, feels more guilt, and the cycle continues, just sabotaging her eating habits and weight loss goals.

Or, we can back it up a little bit and even have a different scenario. She still has that thought I shouldn’t have eaten that I’m trying to decrease sugar so I can lose weight, which then creates that feeling of guilt, and that feeling of guilt feels so bad that she then takes another muffin.

Or maybe she goes back and grabs a doughnut this time because the guilt feels so terrible. Maybe even thinking, will already blew it, so I might as well have something else too. Just continuing the cycle and sabotaging her eating habits and weight goals.

Career Woman B:

Now we have career woman B who has a chocolate chip muffin after a stressful work meeting. She knows guilt could come on, so she has an intentional thought, “I grabbed and ate that muffin for a reason. Maybe it was an attempt to make myself feel better from the stress.”

This thought would create a feeling such as compassion or curiosity. It certainly wouldn’t create of feeling like guilt. And if career woman B was feeling compassion or curiosity, she’s much more likely going to then give herself what she actually needed for that stress.

Maybe it’s to go for a short walk or take a few deep breaths. And she’s only able to do that, because instead of judging herself with her thoughts, she was able to see why she had the muffin and solve for that.

Why Thought Management Works

Why managing your thoughts around the food, especially if you just ate the food works, is because the new thought creates a better emotion than guilt and that better emotion will fuel better actions. Actions that actually help you to move closer to your eating habits and weight loss goals.

Versus having food guilt and food rules that are so strict that if you slip from them or break those food rules, you feel either food guilt or shame, that just end up fueling actions that sabotage your eating habits and weight loss.

And those actions can be really sneaky. It’s not like you’re purposefully trying to sabotage your eating habits and weight loss. I see this all the time though, the actions that end up coming from a place of guilt, do not help matters, and only harm you in the long run.

What Life Feels Like Without Food Guilt

How your life will be different when you have no more food guilt is this:

• You can trust yourself around those foods that you’re currently saying are your downfall
• You have no more fear being around those foods, which means you can enjoy the situations with friends and family and colleagues that those foods might be in
• You can have that feeling of being in control and feeling successful, which then carries over into different areas of life, because you feel more powerful
• you can feel more freedom around food because you don’t have these strict food rules
• you will end up eating less of these foods naturally, because you won’t feel restricted which then ends up backfiring
• you won’t have the food noise associated with food guilt, so you’ll be able to think more about the things you WANT to think about
• You can enjoy those foods you love and only feel positive feelings in association with this, so you now have nothing ruining your experience of eating that piece of chocolate cake or the experience of eating that awesome wood fired pizza with your kids
• you won’t feel so alone thinking that you’re the odd one in the room who is being plagued by food guilt, because that won’t be you anymore
• And you’ll lose weight knowing that you didn’t have to follow strict food rules or give up your favorite foods

All of this, because you’re able to think a little bit differently around food that allows you to feel differently, and then behave differently in the moment and going forward.

That’s what’s available to you.

How I Can Help You Eliminate Food Guilt for Good

Managing your thoughts around food is one of the steps in my process in my one-on-one coaching program, Eat with Intention.

So if you’re tired of experiencing food guilt and having it sabotage your eating habits and weight loss goals and having it be a dark cloud in your life, I’m here for you. I can help you.

Free Consult + Limited-Time Bonuses

And if you’re ready to ditch the food guilt with a skill that will be with you for life, I’d like to invite you to a free consult we can talk more about what you’re struggling with, uncover the reasons why, the solution, and what the simple process is to create these results in your life.

You’ll leave the consult with a clear understanding, plus feeling like, “wow, this is actually possible for me.”

Book your free consult with the link in the show notes and if you book by July 23^rd, I’ll give you a free gift, plus if you then decide to move forward with coaching by July 23^rd, I have an amazing bonus for you. Act on it now, because both are going away very soon.

So head down to the show notes to book your free consult immediately.

Thanks for listening and I’ll talk with you soon.