When Food Becomes Your Reward: Breaking the Treat-Yourself Cycle

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Episode Transcript:

When Food Becomes Your Reward: Breaking the Treat-Yourself Cycle

You’ve had a long day.
You’ve held in your frustration, shown up for everyone else, pushed through your to-do list, and now… you finally sit down.

And that voice pops up:

“I deserve this.”

Maybe it’s a glass of wine.
Maybe it’s a chocolate bar.
Maybe it’s the extra takeout even though you already ate dinner.

And here’s what I want you to know right up front:

You’re not doing anything “wrong.”
This isn’t a lack of willpower.
You’re responding to something very real.

And…I want you to know that I was in this same boat as you.

When I was a Physician Assistant, I would look forward to finally sitting on the couch at 8pm with a big bowl of pretzels and a big (I mean big) glass of red wine.

Now, I wasn’t drinking wine every night, but it was maybe 3 times a week and was associated with “now, I can relax,” so it almost became my “treatment” for the roughest days at work.

And the snacks? That was nightly for sure.

So today, I want to unpack why food often becomes our default reward — and how you can gently start shifting that cycle.

And we’ll also do a little visualization exercise together if you can safely do so and aren’t driving, to help with shifting this reward from food to something else.

How the Food Reward Pattern Starts

Let’s go way back for a minute.

For many of us, the reward-food connection starts early:

• You finish your veggies? You get dessert.
• You behave well at school? You get a treat.
• You win a soccer game? Ice cream time.
• You ace your exam? Celebrate with pizza night.

It’s not always harmful, but over time, it wires a connection:

“I do something hard → I earn something tasty.”

Fast forward to adulthood, and it’s no surprise that:

• After a brutal meeting, you want a muffin.
• After a 6am workout, you want a reward drink.
• After surviving 12 hours of parenting, you want snacks on the couch.

So just knowing that, please please please, have some compassion for yourself.

Plus, if you’ve dieted a lot?
You may have trained your brain to think that the only time you’re allowed to enjoy food is after you’ve earned it.

Food becomes a relief. A prize. A break. A bright spot in the day.

So, no shame here… that association is so normal.
It’s about your brain trying to regulate your experience.

Why Food Feels Like the Quickest and Easiest Reward

Let’s be honest… food is one of the easiest ways to feel good, fast.

• It’s available.
• It’s fast.
• It’s socially accepted.
• You don’t need permission.
• You don’t need time.
• You don’t have to explain it.

It’s a guaranteed dose of relief. And we have to eat food anyway, multiple times a day, which just makes it even easier to use as relief.

Your brain remembers that it’s a guaranteed dose of relief. And it starts suggesting food when it knows you need to feel better — even if you’re not hungry.

That’s not sabotage. That’s your brain doing its best to protect you.

What’s Underneath the Treat-Yourself Cycle

Here’s the truth behind the truth:

The food isn’t just about taste.
It’s not even always about fullness.

It’s about what you wish you were getting instead.

• You want someone to say, “You did great today.”
• You want a break from pressure.
• You want something that’s just for you.
• You want pleasure, softness, quiet.
• You want to feel like you matter.

And when there’s no other structure in place to give you that?
Your brain reaches for what it knows works: food.
You can only replace it with something that actually meets the need.

Shifting the Food Reward System…Gently

Okay — so how do we gently shift this?

This isn’t about never using food for comfort again.
This is about not needing it as your only form of relief.

It’s kind of like having a menu of options for non-food relief. You start building out a few alternative ways to feel:

• Soothed
• Validated
• Rewarded
• A little bit lit up

Here are a few examples:

• A 10-minute walk outside, no phone. I love doing this with my dog, Jonny. No reason to take my phone with us.
• A hot shower with your favorite playlist. I love doing this also! Especially if my husband isn’t home.
• A voice memo to a friend just to vent or celebrate
• A 15-minute scroll through Pinterest. I love doing this too…I’m currently looking at bathroom reno ideas
• Reading fiction (not productivity books!)
• Literally saying out loud: “You did enough today.”

I like to sometimes even lie on my back on my bedroom floor and put my legs up on my bed, close my eyes, and just lie there. Maybe take a few slow, deep breaths.

None of these are revolutionary. I’m sure you’ve heard of these things before and maybe even done some. But they work if they meet the need.

So start asking yourself:

“What am I really craving — and what else could give me a piece of that?”

Future-Self Visualization to Overcome Using Food as Reward

YNow I want you to try this…

Picture your future self.
The version of you who’s no longer using food to survive your day,
but instead — supports yourself before you even reaches that edge.

How do you reward yourself?

Do you build in breaks instead of pushing to burnout?
Do you celebrate with connection instead of cookies?
Do you give herself permission to rest, without having to “earn” it?

You don’t need to be that person overnight.
But imagining your future self can help you make one small shift today, and helps your brain see that it’s possible, even if you only imagined it just right now.

And one small shift today? That’s enough. Truly.

Final Takeaways and More Help

So the next time you find yourself standing in the pantry saying,

“Ugh, I just need something,”

Pause for just a second.

Not to judge. Not to stop.
Just to get curious.

“What am I really asking for here?”
“And is there another way I could give that to myself?”

That’s how this cycle shifts… not with shame, but with options.

And if this hit home for you… if you’re in that spot where food has become your main relief, and you’re ready for change, I’d love to help.

This is exactly what we work on inside my 1:1 coaching — not rules, but habits that are emotionally supportive and actually sustainable.

You can book a free Peace With Food Consult — we’ll look at your patterns, your goals, and map out a way forward that works for you.

You don’t need more discipline.
You just need more ways to feel okay, so your brain doesn’t think food isn’t the only option.